Jaded and Dating

Another weekend in the books. Another dating story to tell. Right now you’re wondering if your time was wasted or if you’ll see that person again? Did you have a good time because of the vibe of the event, how you were dressed, the food, or the drinks? Most importantly did you enjoy your DATE? You know that flesh and blood entity. The one with the winning smile, great personality, funny jokes, very attractive, fashionable dresser, and didn’t eat with their toes.

Yep, that’s right, it’s time to review the date. If you’re going to win in the dating game you have to perform your analysis. You can’t get better if your game plan doesn’t change. It’s done in all areas of our lives, why not dating? Ask yourself, Are you happy with the results of the date? Did your date do anything to turn you off? Did your date solidify a position for continued consideration?

Sure, you’re exhausted. You’re frustrated with the constant reviews and in some cases having the same old date again? Same conversations? Did your date introduce you to something new? If they did, how did you feel about it? Was it fun? Was it different? Did it reveal something deeper about the personality of your date? Did the actions match their words? Your focus should be on the consistency. Whether that is good or bad, the data doesn’t lie.

It's a chore, I know. If you’re in your 30s, 40s  or 50s you’ve been in this long enough to know that relationships take work. You must work to get better at your discernment. You can’t do that without putting in the critical thinking.

Don’t just perform a surface level analysis. Be attracted to them! If they are outside your range of attractiveness, don’t force it. I’m talking physical, mental and spiritual. All those components are crucial. One might be stronger than others, but the end goal is to see the individual in their totality.

Look at how they treat you and ask yourself am I forcing reciprocity or am I giving and receiving as a natural state of this relationship. Are you investing? Lastly, are you making plans to see them again or are you waiting to see what better offers may come along? If it’s the latter, reshuffle the lineup and move on. Your time and their time are a precious commodity. Don’t waste it.